Quick San Lorenzo Lunch

Whilst watching the dire England performance against Scotland on Saturday Cowie russled me up a delicious lunch using goodies from Tentazioni and San Lorenzo. Both brilliant freebies!

The Tentazioni pasta was still slightly chewy which was great whilst the sun dried tomatoes from San Lorenzo added a bit of class to Lloyd Grossman's tasty tomato and chilli sauce.







To make things a little bit more special Cowie even used my extra special tin of tuna.



What a great way take your mind off the awful rugby!

Clapham Farmers' Market Supper

Cowie and I made the most of our Sunday back in London by heading off to the Clapham Farmers' Market in Clapham South. Just off the very smart Abbeville Road it opens every Sunday in a school playground. It's our local market and tends to do fantastic veg, good apple juice, tasty sausages, brilliant bread and some wacky cheeses. Apart from one occassion when I bought 3 venison shanks we haven't really been that impressed by the meat.




We pottered around sampling bits and pieces. The goat cheese stall is brilliant. As is the buffalo milk stall. If I'd had some more cash on me I'd have bought some bufallo milk yoghurt. Maybe next time.

My coins were instead spent on a punnet of craggy looking artichokes, leeks, shallots and mushrooms. All for under a fiver. We beetled home and browned some chicken thighs before tossing in some bacon, shallots, leek and mushrooms which all took on a fantastic sheen. Before going off to play squash I added a cup full of rehydrated wild mushrooms and the liquor, some vegetable stock and a third of a bottle of red wine, some butter beans and a tin of tomatoes. Into the oven went some beetroot segments and some chopped artichokes to roast.

We came back to the house smelling of glory. The chicken had simmered its way to victory and the artichokes and beetroot had become soft, caremlised and deeply flavoured.

Although it may not look fantastic it was sensational. Rich, deep, flavoursome, moreish and not too expensive. Just what we needed after a frantic game of squash and a week eating cheese!

Restaurant des 2 Ours

On our last day we decided it was a good idea to all meet up in a nice restaurant for lunch and indudlge ourselves. Not that we hadn't been doing so before this point. Cowie and I arrived first eager to secure a seat and not break any bones on the last day. It didn't take long for me to demand onion soup which turend out to be fantastic. I love the way the cheese becomes all stingy and gloopy.



A great deal better than the boeuf bourgoignon taglatelle that I foolishly chose to follow it up. The sauce and the pasta just don't go together. You need some serious potato starch to absorb the juice whereas the pasta just acts like a wet suit and resists the water. Tasty. But not right.

The others filled their boots with omelettes, lasagne, goulash, steak, rustic salads, tarteflets and all manner of calorific fodder. All of the dishes apart from my rather odd choice were tremendous. The service was excellent. The view was even better. And the banter amongst the group was huge fun. Except for Adam who landed up with 3 sachets of ketchup, 2 tubes of mayonaise and a handful of breadcrumbs in his skiing jacket hood!

Chef Guevara

I got this for Cowie in Buenos Aires and think it's the best T-shirt. EVER!

Fondue to die for?

On Wednesday Gwen and Sophie had the day off and we all pottered over the road to a super alpine restaurant to cause chaos elsewhere. Edwin and Anna had been here previously and heartily recommended it although I have now forgotten the name. But don't worry the story isn't about the food it's about the near deat experience we had!

Hot on the heels of our crepe catastrophe we plunged further into trouble when our entire table was set on fire during what can only be described as Fondu-gate.

We spent an age deciding what to have. Raclette? Hot stone? Fondue with meat? Fondue with cheese? Or more simply some grilled duck or steak. Cowie and I chose brilliantly. As much as we wanted to get stuck into something novel and alpine we didn't think we could face the idea of a vat of molten cheese or a medieval bowl of boiling oil. And the hot stone turned out not to be a stone at all. It looked more like a nocked over trouser press and gave out about as much heat. I had some delicious duck with a fig sauce and Cowie had a steak. Well done us. Both were brilliant. I'll be repeating the fig sauce at some point soon. Or at least trying to!

This story is all about Edwin and Anna and their exploding fondue. Now my French isn't what it used to be, but I'm pretty sure we would have spotted the word combustible, flamable or exploding on the menu next to the meat fondu had it been there.

After dipping in their fifth or sixth lump of meat the spectators next to Edwin and Anna started to wince as the fat started leaping out of the pan an onto their arms. Cowie jumped to the resuce and turned the flame down. But in doing so turned it completely off. For some reason it wouldn't restart. Not to worry the waiter with a splendid pink shirt brough a replacement burner. Which didn't work. So he brough another. Cowie mentioned in the aftermath that she could hear it hissing. Ah. One turn of the ignition button later and the entire table was on fire. The gas from the canister had spread all over the table and onto the girls' laps. In two terrible seconds we went from being mildly peaved that the fondue wasn't working to hopping around evading the grim reaper's colourful clutches. Drama doesn't come close. The waiter gave a wry little smile as if he expected a big fat tip for the entertainment and skipped off leaving Edwin and Anna with a story to tell for the rest of their lives!

Val Thorens' Highest Kebab Shop and Pub in Europe / The World

Val Thorens is the highest ski resort in Europe. It's so high up there are no trees and the snow is fantastic. This also means that it is the proud home of the self proclaimed "Highest Pub in Europe" - The Frog and Roastbeef as well as the "Highest Kebab Shop in the World" whose name I have forgotten.



The kebab was average at best. Not spicy at all and lacking in dirtiness. I didn't think the French would be able to cope with the intricacies of the perfect kebab. It's not really their bag!

Val Thoren Market

Tuesday and Thursday are market days in Val Thoren. A fairly ugly town that needs a bit of va va voom to take your eyes away from the fairly monotonous bars and concrete buildings. This came in the form of a fantastic alpine market selling everything from warm gloves, hats and scarves to things that got me a bit more excited such as countless types of sausage, honey, stupidly smelly cheese and jams to die for.

Cowie had a great time nibbling away at all the freebies whilst I spent most of my time either posing for photographs with enormous hams or trying to find a cash point!





Cowie bought me a fabulous chanterelle mushroom sausage which smells like one of John Wright's socks. I can't wait to find a good recipe for it, or better still to simply slice it thinly and have it with some fine cheese and bread for lunch or a picnic.

It didn't take me long to find the jam stall. It was heaving under the weight of scores of different types of conserve and preserve. I never know the difference. After much teeth sucking, humming, ahhing and rearranging of jars I decided on two classics. Arpicot and raspberry. I was tempted by the myrtle and the blackcurrant but we've already got some at home. I had a good lashing of both on some toast when I got back home and they are both delicious. Really fruity. Very French. But I have to say, the blackcurrant jam I got from Whitstable in the plain jar is the best jam I've ever had.

Holy Crepe! What a nightmare!

On one of our more successful day's skiing Edwin, Anna, Cowie and I found ourselves in Meribel for lunch. We'd skied hard all morning and decided it was well and truly time to get stuck into a crepe or two. We sat down inside and thawed out quickly. It didn't take us long to decide on having a galette each and a bowl of chips per couple. The girls fancied some tea to warm them up and some water to stop us getting thirsty.

So far, so good. Pretty straightforward. Not in France!

3 fantastic galettes arrived. Oozing with barely cooked egg and bursting whith cheese. Magnificent. Cooked by a pro. Eaten almost immediatley by everyone except Cowie who waited patiently for hers.

The tea arrived. Whislt stictly speaking this is true it's not much help ordering tea if they aren't going to bother either supplying the hot water or doing it themselves. So our tea bag remained unopened for the whole meal. It wasn't as if we could pour cold water on top and warm it with our hands because they forgot the water as well, despite being asked for it so many times that we just got embarassed to ask again!

All around us chaos was breaking out. An English couple slipped out having not been visited by the waitress for 15 minutes. Then, even more dramatically, a table of 5 girls walked out without paying only to be chased by 2 members of staff. It's amazing to see such otherwise slothful staff spring into action. Too little far too late. It did mean that they left 4 boys from Upppingham to deal with the aftermath!

Cowie's crepe never arrived. Poor little Goose. She'd been looking forward to it all day! It just means I am going to have to take her to My Old Dutch in London to make u for it.

Maybe they were having a bad day. Maybe they are just useless? Who knows? At the time it was disastrous but now it seems quite funny. It just made us appreciate the times when we got good service elsewhere.

Skiing Cuisine

We've just got back from a fabulous week in the French Alps gorging ourselves on everything that Val Thorens and the rest of the 3 Valleys could throw at us. Our Ski World chalet was brilliant with a fantastic view over the slopes.





Gwen and Sophie did a great job of keeping us fed and watered with cooked breakfasts every day, afternoon tea including a cake and a 3 course meal in the evening. Somehow they managed to feed all 14 of us. Quite a feat. But then again they do cook entirely the same thing each week. How boring for them must that be!!!

Our meals ranged from chicken monteyard (chicken breast stuffed with herby Philidelphia and wrapped with bacon), to confit of duck, pesto breaded salmon and pork fillet for main. The duck was excellent despite coming out of an enormous tin. Meanwhile the salmon was very tasty but the sauce was split and the pork was very measly and dry. Our deserts were quite fun. The girls made us a delciious chocolate torte which would have been great had we not already stuffed ourselves with a mascapone fondue and confit of duck! You could almost hear our arteries clogging up and tapping out morse code contractions.



Ski World's meals bookened our busy days' skiing in a way that made us want to wake up and also come home. Pretty impressive when you consider that the skiing was absolutely awesome. Gwen mentioned that you can write to Ski World to get their recipes. I think I might well do that!

It would be really cool if Ski World were to run an online competition to revamp their recipe book and weekly menu. I'm sure the blogging community could rally round and help out if a free skiing holiday or two were thrown in. It would be a super way of Ski World standing out from the crowd. Anyone keen?

Never eat at The Fat Duck, Bray

Whilst I was away on holiday Oli and a couple of the guys at work went to the Fat Duck. Here's Oli's review of the meal as the Paunch's first guest blogger!

Anyone who is interested in good food and enjoys going out to fine restaurants should never go to the Fat Duck. It is just so good that you will never enjoy another meal quite as much again.

With that said, I was "lucky" enough to be taken to The Fat Duck last week. I was initially quite worried about whether the place would live up to all I had read and seen about it in countless articles and TV shows. So much so that I had a string of nightmares in the month leading up to our visit, where the meal passed me by and I missed out on experiencing any of the molecular delights that Heston had prepared.

In fact, quite the opposite occurred. We (Ed and I) spent an hour and a half waiting at our table until the rest of our party arrived, so had the opportunity to take in the full atmosphere of this tiny place before we started eating. We observed the meticulous way in which the staff waited on tables around us, and polished the silver trays in search of glimmering perfection. All the while we were tucking in to the champagne trolley!

When we did come to order, the tasting menu was chosen by everyone (including a vegetarian option for one) – In fact we were told by our waitress later that 95% of people do go with the full tasting hit, reinforcing our faith in the fact that we had chosen wisely.

So, in we went.

It Started with a green tea mouse, cooked in liquid nitrogen as a palette cleanser - Standard fare really - They sprayed a lime mist into the air at the same time as you popped it into the mouth to give a whole fresh feeling before you started. It woke you up completely and got you ready for the divine onslaught of what you were about to receive.

For the second course we had an oyster, with passion fruit jelly and a spot of horse radish cream. I've never liked oysters before really, but this was amazing. It had a kind of salt sail sticking out of the top that gave it an little crunch that you are after.

Then there was a really light mustard ice cream, with a tiny bit of shallot, chopped finer than a gnats whiskers. They then poured a red cabbage soup over it which made it like a gaspacho. Very tasty and a sign of the flavour combinations to come.

Then they brought out a tray of woodland moss, and plonked it into the middle of table onto which they poured a moss flavoured tea, which I think hit some dry ice in the bottom of the tray as it filled the table with a really nice smelling cool mist, giving you the sense of being in a alpine woodland. They gave us one of those films which melts on the tongue (a bit like those breath freshener things), and then to go with it a jelly of quail, with foie gras quenelle on top of a langoustine cream - They told you to cut through the different layers with a special spoon so that you could have the flavours combining on your tongue. It was like heaven in a small bowl. Ooh and it also had a small piece of brown toast, with black truffle. All giving a feeling of earthy woodland to the course.

Next up, the world famous snail porridge. It was very nice, but I don't think it was the most amazing thing in the menu - it was delicious, but I think that what we were about to be served had more reason to be famous.

Roast Foie Gras with almond fluid gel, cherry and chamomile - My goodness me. I’ve said in the past that I wasn't a massive fan of foie gras, but that was before I’d been served something quite like this. It was the softest thing I've ever put in my mouth, and it was utterly delicious, there wasn't a hint of the bitterness that I haven't liked in the past and it went so well with the cherry and chamomile.

Next up, a conch shell is placed in front of us, out of which protruded a set of iPod headphones. Slightly odd. Then there was a glass plate suspended over a sandy bottom, with what looked like a beach with shellfish all washed up in a frothy sea spray.

It included various types of seaweed from Japan, a muscle, an oyster and a clam and apparently a baby eel. All of which was eaten with the sound of seagulls ringing in your ears. It was a complete sensory explosion.

All this time, we had been drinking a bottle of Mersault premiere cru, which was a delicious white burgundy, and on top of the couple of glasses of tattinger I was starting to feel ever so slightly dizzy.

Onward with the final fish course. Salmon poached in liquorice with flecks of red grapefruit aged balsamic and olive oil. Then it had a miniature artichoke with it and a streak of vanilla mayonnaise, which was really nice. This is the one that I think was the best visually on the plate and I keep picturing it when I close my eyes now. I looked like a small square of leather in the corner of a massive plate with multi coloured flecked polka dots. When you cut into it, the leather was actually like a black liquid coating over the softest and most delicate salmon I've ever tasted - I guess cooked sous vide.

Moving into the main meat course, it was a ballotine of Anjou pigeon with a black pudding sauce that was just like melted chocolate, and probably the second smoothest thing I've ever had in my mouth (after the foie gras). It came with a little pickled onion and another foamy sauce made with the pickling brine. It was fabulously tender and tasty.

We were now strongly onto the reds, and we had a delicious bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, a Rioja and a Portuguese wine (to try something different), at which point it wasn’t just the tiny onions that were a little pickled.

Just when you are thinking that you have tasted it all they brought out a small mug of tea. Which seemed a little plain. The name should have given it away, it was called Hot and Iced tea. When you sipped on it, half of the cup was hot tea, and half was iced tea, and it mixed in your mouth amazingly. It was like some kind of magic trick. Somehow it stayed unmixed all the way to the bottom, I couldn't quite explain it, but it just made you want more.

Starting off the deserts a little booklet was brought out all about Mrs Marshall's ice cream maker, who apparently was the Mr whippy of her day. This accompanied a tiny cornet of ice-cream with ginger and apple ice cream, which really took you back to seaside childhoods, which I think was the intention – to evoke nostalgia.

Once this had disappeared, they brought out a "Pine sherbet fountain" It was a miniature sherbet fountain, flavoured with pine and instead of a liquorice stick, it was a vanilla pod - very tasty and completely different - I think that he has a thing about pine forests and harking back to the nostalgia of your youth.

Into desert proper and there was a Mango and Douglas fir puree, served with a barois of lychee and mango - not sure what that actually means, but it tasted good and came with a delicious blackcurrant sorbet. At which point the pudding wine was flowing - It was a Tokai that the sommelier explained had 200g of sugar per litre, as opposed to 7g per litre in champagne. Sweet.

What on earth could come next?

The waitress strolled over and greeted us with "Good Morning!" - It was about 4 in the afternoon. She then produced a cereal packet and a jug of milk. Inside the cereal packet was a bag of parsnip corn flakes, and the milk, was parsnip infused to go with them. It was a bit weird, but somehow really woke you up when you were feeling just a little bit snoozy after course number 13.

This was followed by another "good morning" as she came over and appeared with a box of eggs. She opened the eggs, cracked one into a bowl and then poured liquid nitrogen over it, instantly turning it into egg flavoured ice cream, This was then served up with a freeze dried slice of the thinnest bacon on top of a bit of eggy bread. It also had tea flavoured jelly with it, which really freshened up the mouth as we were nearing the end of the meal.

You know at the end of a long meal when you just fancy a whisky, but you aren't sure what to go for, well the next course really nailed that for you. It was delivered in a picture frame showing a map of Scotland and a bit of Tennessee, onto which were stuck 5 different jelly whisky bottles made with malts from around the country. It was amazing - the Glenfidich tasted just like it does from a glass, as did the Laphroaig, the Oban and the Highland Park, it was finished off with Jack Daniels, which was a pleasant surprise with a sweetness that the others didn't have so much. It was such a nice way to have all of the whiskey that you might otherwise not have been able to have.

We finished off the meal with a selection from the Chinese tea menu, which was served as an individual tea ceremony, exactly as we had done it in China, which beats a cuppa with some milk hands down. This was served with Petits fours - A carrot and orange lolly, mandarin aerated chocolate - a bit like an orange aero - a violet tartlet, which was bright purple and tasted exactly like a Palma violets that I had in Madrid a few weeks ago and finally an apple pie caramel, it was served in a wrapper that dissolved in your mouth so you didn't have to unwrap it.

So that was it. Just imagine the best meal you have ever had - I'm pretty sure that it was really really good, but no matter how good it was, I'm going to put my cock on the block here and say it won't come close to this. I really think that I'm never going to eat anything as good again, which makes it amazing, but it does mean that it's down hill from here!

So as I say, never eat at The Fat Duck, please. Unless you’re terminally ill, in which case, eat there, lots.