Le Champignon Sauvage

Ever since devouring David Everitt-Matthias's book, Essence, whilst exploring Whitstable last autumn, I've had a crazed desire to visit the author's restaurant in Cheltenham.

We decided to make the most of our trip to Cheltenham so turned into a mini holiday. Everyone we spoke to in Cheltenham before we visited the restaurant had the same reaction. Amazing food. But terrible atmosphere. We put this to one side, dismissing them as idiotic locals. But of course they were right!

Le Champignon Sauvage is focused purely on the end product. The food is the star of the 2 Michelin starred show. But this is at the vast expense of everythng else. It's almost as if they are being obtuse about the whole thing.

As we walked in we couldn't help thinking that we were in the wrong place. We sat down in the waiting room which made us feel like we were in a cross between a dentists and an Indian takeaway.

The menu read beautifully. Full of interesting ideas that we hadn't encountered before. Cowie and I consulted heavily with the waitress before deciding to have scallops followed by skate for Cowie and rabbit and pigs' tail caneloni followed by zander for me. I chose them because I would never cook them at home. This a rule I am trying to live by when it comes to ordering in restaurants.

We were ushered through to a dining room that was as quiet as it was floodlit. We were surrounded by the posh and aging population of Cheltenham who actively disobeyed the strict no mobile phone rule that is printed on the menu like they do at golf clubs.

Cowie's scallops were delicious, but not the best we've ever had. They were accompanied by an intriguing combination of licorice and artichoke. Big flavours for a couple of little blobs of fishy flesh.

My rabbit and pigs' tail dish was stunning. Layers of flavours that I found very hard to decode, but completely loved. Fascinating. This is why we came here. This is what they do best. This is what got me excited when I read Essence. This was awesome.

Cowie's skate was good. But it was a bit stingy and greasy. It needed to be meatier. Skate is one of our favourite fish but this didn't live up to our expectations.

I ordered zander more through curiosity than a desire to eat it. That said it was an interesting dish that was of more interest to the brain than the mouth. Again it was quite hard to unravel and just like everything else was presented with great style.

Feeling a bit wary of the bill and not feeling the love for anything on the menu we decided to feast on petit fours washed down with a cup of iffy espresso. We staggered back to our BnB with their words of wisdom ringing in our ears. They were completely right - the food is brilliant, if a bit inaccessible, whilst the atmosphere is morgue like. With the lights being so bright and the room so unfriendly nobody speaks above a whisper. It's something we haven't experienced before and resulted in us breaking out into spontaneous laughter on a couple of accoassions to see if we'd get told off!

I'm delighted we've dined here - as its somewhere I've wanted to go to for ages. It brought us down to Cheltenham and introuduced us to the brilliant restaurant Royal Wells Tavern.

Royal Well Tavern

We went to Cheltenham for a long weekend to escape the humid monotony of London. We're both country folk at heart who get very twitchy if we haven't seen a field or smelt a cow pat for a few days. We were treated to 3 glroious days of sunshine. Probably the only three consecutive days the sun has worn his baseball cap a la William Hague for the whole summer of 2008.

We stayed at 32 which is in the Mr and Mrs Smith guide. I'll leave you to look at it yourself, but needless to say it was very swish and very stylish. A nice change to frilly curtains and flowery pillow cases your normally get at BnBs. O... and the breakfast was perfect. Apart from the mindless chatter from some of the other guests. We uncovered a new truism. When given a rectangular table, layed with six places, the first couple will always choose the far end. The next couple will always choose the near end. And the last couple will land up gimping it up in the middle seats - sandwiched between two strange couples.

I'm pretty bad at small talk at the best of times, afterall this is Cowie's speciality. But I am atrocious in the morning. I'm perfectly capable of ordering tea and saying yes to all the different permuatations of the full English breakfast, but anything beyond that is not on. Breakfast should be silent. A chance to read the papers. A nice way to ease into the day whilst listening to the news. A chance to think about what the day has in store for you. The rest of the day is for talking.

I was one of 4 Jonathans staying at 32, with the other 2 Jonathans in charge of the place and the 4th being a guest. When we arrived on Friday we immediately interogated Jonathan 1 about our dinner options. He wholeheartedly recommeded a newly opened restaurant called The Royal Well Tavern. Impressed, we took the recommendation and strolled across Imperial Square to a very unlikely location next door to a dirty looking chip shop and opposite the National Tyre Centre and bus station.

With all the tables busy we sat at the bar and were talked into ordering some Breton oysters that had arrived earlier in the day that the front of house had tried for lunch. They didn't disappoint. Smaller than normal oysters they were deliciously fresh and flavoursome. Oozing with the essence of the sea they instantly rejuvinated us after our long journey from London. With a glass of house wine from a small caraffe I joked with the chap who was serving us that I felt like Simon Hopkinson should be sitting next to me. He laughed and pointed at a small library of cookery books that stood behind the bar - all of which I owned - including 2 by SH himself! And the others by the rest of his band of merry men.

The more got stuck in the more we realised that this was a very special place. Like a cross between the Anchor and Hope, Cafe Anglais, Riverford Farm and all of the other places that put their ingredients first and chefyness second.

Cowie had a lovely fillet of bream whilst I was completely bowled over by an expertly poached fillet of sea trout which came with some brown shrimp butter and a mound of vivid green samphire. Without doubt the finest trout or salmon dish I have ever had the good fortune to eat.

I had a sudden pang of greedy curiosity whilst waiting for my trout which resulted in a small plate of lambs tongue arriving just as the fish did. I've rarely tasted something so deep and meaty. Inadvertantly I had created my own surf and turf! Cowie the taste and texture of it... but it was the gassy after-effects that really turned her off!

We shared a vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce for dessert, which was perfect too.

The staff were brilliant. The best either of us have ever come across. The chap we had chatted to at the bar when we first arrived turned out to be the ridiculously young owner who we subsequently found out is called Sam Pearman. He was effortlessly charming in a very disarming way. We found ourselves discussing our next trip to La Champignon Sauvage with him. I won't write here what he said but can tell you he was right!

If you are ever in Cheltenham you simply have to visit Sam's restaurant. It's the best in town. If only all towns had a restaurant as good and straightforward as this.